Your New Job Title Is
“Accomplice”: A “Dilbert” Collection. By Scott Adams. Andrews McMeel.
$12.99.
The Birth of Canis: A “Get Fuzzy”
Collection. By Darby Conley. Andrews McMeel. $12.99.
Beginning Pearls. By Stephan
T. Pastis. Andrews McMeel. $9.99.
“A foolish consistency is
the hobgoblin of little minds,” said Ralph Waldo Emerson. But a consistent
foolishness is the angel of first-rate cartooning, and if you don’t believe
that, then maybe you will be convinced by the latest Scott Adams and Darby
Conley collections. Adams’ Dilbert
has been consistent for two decades (after flailing about somewhat for the
first few years after its 1989 debut). It has now reached the point at which
the greatest exaggerations in the strip seem entirely logical within the
context of big-company business, where Dilbert’s misadventures take place. Thus,
in Your New Job Title Is “Accomplice,”
it makes perfect sense for Alice to claim “territorial waters” extending 12
feet from her cubicle, build a robot shark to patrol the area, and then claim
it is only a dolphin when people complain. It makes sense for Dilbert to be
named Project Leader and told that the title gets him a three-inch-wider
cubicle, but since the company does not have any, he has to lose weight so his
current cubicle appears bigger. There is a “cash cow” wandering the hallways –
that seems right, too. Speaking of cash, Wally gets a billion-dollar settlement
when he claims the company discriminates against “short, bald, nearsighted
guys,” is admitted to the “top 1% club,” but then soon finds himself right back
where he started – yup. Asok the intern reads the Pointy-Haired Boss’ list of
“25 focus areas for next year” and decides that “this misunderstood man is a brilliant
comedian. He is only pretending to be
an angry idiot.” Dogbert continues to exhibit his consulting prowess while
showing the boss how to “imbue your staff with a sense of urgency” while
avoiding “a creepy vibe.” Catbert tells Dilbert that the poor employee parking
arrangement is designed to prevent people from running personal errands, and
when Dilbert asks if he is intentionally making life more difficult, Catbert
responds, “What do you think management is?”
Ah yes, this is reality – filtered and refined and perhaps skewed just a little
bit, but consistently skewed, so that
any relationship between Dilbert and
the real working world is purely intentional.
The world in which Get Fuzzy takes place is a little harder
to pinpoint. On the surface, it is the workaday (rather than working) world,
with the activities of Bucky Katt, Satchel Pooch and hapless human Rob Wilco
taking place in an ordinary Boston apartment. But there is something
consistently skewed here, too, and it is not just the fact that the cat and dog
converse with the feckless Rob and every other human who shows up in the strip.
Darby Conley has solidified the odd relationships among his characters at this
point and now turns his strip into an ongoing series of puns (some of them
barely comprehensible) and riffs on peculiar interactions. In The Birth of Canis, for example, the
longstanding dispute between Bucky and Fungo Squiggly, the ferret in a neighboring
apartment, advances to the point at which Bucky creates his own reality TV show
– which is a predictable mess – while Fungo manages to set up a genuine reality
show on the Ferret Television Network by planting tiny cameras in the walls of Rob’s
apartment and letting viewers (other ferrets) observe the goings-on. This
results in Bucky getting fan mail, which makes him happy, until he finds out it
is from ferrets, which makes him ill. And Rob’s role in all this is to act as
dumb as usual, with lines such as, “Shhhh! Man, the walls will hear you!” and
“We have to get out of here!” Rob is supposedly an advertising executive, but
given the fact that his intelligence and creativity are well below those of
Bucky (even though Bucky’s abilities are always misused), there is room for a
role reversal here. It won’t happen, though, because Conley has settled the
characters so comfortably into their roles and their appearances. When there
are personality changes, they are invariably incremental: Satchel talks back (and
talks smack) to Bucky more often now, although Bucky still gets the better (or
worse) of him more often than not. Conley enlivens the strip these days with a
series of subsidiary characters, the most notable being Mac Manc McManx, a
scene-stealing British feline and distant Bucky relative who talks a nearly
incomprehensible blend of Cockney rhyming slang and Manchester idioms. The Birth of Canis introduces Ibid Q.
(that is, I.Q.) Muttly, a strange little dog who speaks more intellectually
than all the other characters put together, calling Bucky “a textbook
delusional egotist with anger management issues,” which pretty much nails it,
especially when I.Q. adds, “You
exhibit symptoms of being what is colloquially known as a ‘jerk,’” which nails
it even more strongly. Throw in some Bucky-designed composites – mixed-genre
movies such as “Freaky Friday the 13th” and mixed-use inventions
such as a fork attached to a lamp cord so you can plug in the sofa and drive it
around the house – and you have consistently offbeat and consistently
entertaining silliness occurring in a world very much like ours, and very
foolish indeed.
The world of Pearls Before Swine is a lot like ours,
too, but even darker and simultaneously funnier for anyone who enjoys the
frequent death of cute comic-strip characters, god-awful puns, lots of beer
drinking, herbivore-carnivore conflict, homicidal gingerbread men, homicidal
sea anemones, and….hmm. This seems like one comic strip that is emphatically
not for kids, which makes it somewhat odd to discover Beginning Pearls, an entry in Andrews McMeel’s “amp! Comics for
Kids” series for middle-grade readers. What will the kids introduced to Pearls Before Swine through this book be
reading and/or doing by the time they reach high school? (Shudder.) Well,
Stephan Pastis (who includes the middle initial “T.” in his name here, but not
in his regular collections – presumably looking for some sort of deniability)
does manage to select some of his more kid-friendly offerings for this book (in
fact, he selects one twice and another out of order, repeats a panel within one
strip, and omits some of Zebra’s introductory words – does he think kids don’t
pay attention, or do his editors think that?). Anyway, among the child-safe
strips here are ones about Rat’s “temper-prone sock puppet, Pepito,” one in
which Death announces that the strip is not “dark and grim,” one in which Danny
Donkey steals a Game Boy, ones in which Zebra’s relatives are devoured by
crocodiles and lions, one in which one croc kills another and makes him into
boots, and….wow. What will kids who
read this book be doing in a few, a very few, years? Best not to think too much
about that – best just to enjoy the book’s layout in five sections (focused on
Rat, Pig, Goat, Zebra and the crocs), the introductory material for each
section “written by” the relevant characters, and the generally skewed and
sometimes overtly weird worldview that Pastis, with or without the T., creates
and disseminates day after day. Pearls
Before Swine remains a love-it-or-hate-it strip – it’s difficult to be
indifferent to Pastis’ and the strip’s oddities – and presumably Beginning Pearls is intended to capture
a whole new audience that will allow Pastis to continue creating the strip and
not have to return to his former work as a lawyer. In fact, parents really
ought to think seriously about buying more than one copy of the book, at least
one per child – because would you really want someone like Pastis to go back to
practicing law?