If My Dogs Were a Pair of
Middle-Aged Men. By The Oatmeal (Matthew Inman). Andrews McMeel. $9.99.
How to Be Perfectly Unhappy.
By The Oatmeal (Matthew Inman). Andrews McMeel. $9.99.
Foods with Moods: A First Book of
Feelings. By Saxton Freymann and Joost Elffers. Cartwheel Books/Scholastic.
$7.99.
Deep significance is
unnecessary when looking for small, pleasant gifts to give at this time of
year. And there are books, for adults and children alike, that can be a real
joy to give and receive without striving for all-encompassing importance: they
are short, enjoyable, easy to read, mildly amusing (sometimes more than
mildly), and unusual enough to be the sort of thing that most people would be
unlikely to buy for themselves. That is certainly the case with two little gift
books from cartoonist Matthew Inman, who goes by the monicker of The Oatmeal.
Pretty much anyone with dogs will recognize the behaviors in If My Dogs Were a Pair of Middle-Aged Men,
but it takes a twisted sort of humor to imagine those behaviors being performed
by very rotund, bug-eyed men, one completely bald and the other with hair and a
full-face beard. The full flavor of Inman’s oddball humor is here. The dog
owner walks out the door, one dogman wonders if he will ever return, the other
says he will not, and the two dogmen know exactly what they must do – one barks
incessantly while the other digs frantically into the sofa cushions. The dog
owner sneezes, and the dogmen panic, rushing about yelling “emergency” in loud
voices and then leaping onto the couch where the owner is sitting to lick and
“slorp” his face as messily as possible. One dogman asks to play fetch and promises
that “it won’t be like last time,” then runs after the ball without ever
bringing it back – leading to a poster that states, “Lost: Middle-Aged Man.
Very friendly. Incredibly dumb.” And there is the sequence in which the owner
is trying desperately to work while the two dogmen run around with squeaky
toys, demanding playtime. The things that happen here will be familiar to dog
lovers – and the sheer weirdness of the characters doing them will dislocate a
funny bone or two.
Inman is in a more-verbal
mood in How to Be Perfectly Unhappy,
in which he explains that he is not a happy person because happiness “implies
you completed all the prerequisites. And now you get to sit atop your giant
pile of happy forever.” And he shows that giant pile of smiling and laughing
beach balls (or something like beach balls), with a person wearing a crown
standing joyfully way, way up on top. He then discusses the demotion of Pluto
from its previous designation as a planet, explaining (with illustrations, of
course) why “our definition of planet wasn’t very good,” and then he notes that
he is not “happy” because our definition of “happy” is not very good, either.
And then he gets into a disquisition about an alien trying to figure out
whether he is “glorkappy” after all the “SlargNacking” he does. And then he
explains that “I do things that are meaningful to me, even if they don’t make
me ‘happy,’” such as reading “long, complicated books about very smart things”
and also “short, silly books about very stupid things.” Apparently How to Be Perfectly Unhappy lies
somewhere in the middle. It takes a certain kind of person to give it as a gift
– and a certain kind to receive it, if not happily, then with equanimity.
Maybe happiness, even
temporary happiness, requires the sort of amusement found in a new board book,
intended for kids but really just as delightful for adults: Foods with Moods, based on a marvelously
zany book by Saxton Freymann and Joost Elffers that dates back to 1999 and was published
as How Are You Peeling? Using the
inherent shapes of fruits and vegetables and a nice selection of googly eyes
and a few other props to modify and accentuate the produce, Freymann and
Elffers created a whole series of scenes expressing moods – yes, including
happiness – through the power of growing things. Here you will find a turtle
whose shell is half a cantaloupe; a kiwi fruit with a goofy expression; a large
tomato glancing askance and down at a small one that looks sweetly upward;
another kiwi with a big yawn; a distinctly angry-looking orange; and more. The
text here fits perfectly with the expressions of the fruits and vegetables:
“Too excited? Really wired? / That can make you very tired!” “Angry? Had your
feelings bruised? / Or do you feel a bit confused?” The youngest children to
whom this book is read will find plenty of amusement in the expressions on the
fruits and vegetables in Foods with
Moods, and parents who do the reading will find the book a great way to
explore little ones’ feelings and show kids that they, as adults, have feelings
of their own and understand the ones their children express. And the whole book
will make adults and kids alike feel, if not permanently happy, at least
temporarily joyful – a great way to feel in any season.
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