Suit Your Selfie: A “Pearls
Before Swine” Collection. By Stephan Pastis. Andrews McMeel. $9.99.
Dog Man #3: A Tale of Two
Kitties. By Dav Pilkey. Graphix/Scholastic. $9.99.
Sorry I Humped Your Leg (and
Other Letters from Dogs Who Love Too Much). By Jeremy Greenberg. Andrews
McMeel. $9.99.
Dogs are not major
characters in Stephan Pastis’ Pearls
Before Swine comic strip, but as the latest collection for younger readers
shows, their cameo appearances with series regulars such as Pig, Rat, Goat and
Zebra fit Pastis’ skewed and sometimes strange humor quite well. One strip
features “the dreaded poodle drone,” designed not to bomb enemies but to harass
them into submission: it is a pink poodle that hovers above the counter where
Rat and Goat are sitting, repeating its “yap!” 24 times in the confined space
of a single panel. Then there is neighbor Bob’s dog, which Bob tells Pig he got
because dogs are “loyal, trustworthy, and will stick with you to the very end”
– at which point the dog comments, “I’d sell your soul for a strip of bacon.”
That is definitely a Pearls Before Swine
perspective. Actually, Pig proposes introducing a regular dog character to the
strip in one place here, saying it would make things easier when the strip is
translated into other languages, since dogs “go ‘arf arf’ everywhere.” Not so,
says Pastis in his cartoon iteration, then showing the identical dog “speaking”
in 10 different languages, from “mung-mung” in Korean to “bub-bub” in Catalan
to “bad-bad” in Persian. Even without a prominent canine, though, this
collection manages to reflect much of the strip’s generally dark approach to
life and other mishaps – without getting too far into elements that are common
in Pearls Before Swine but considered
inappropriate for younger readers, such as all the beer drinking. Death,
however, is obviously deemed all right, since one strip has a dead crocodile being
stored in a home freezer and others feature identical-looking lemmings
committing or about to commit mass suicide. Death is also referenced in an
“alternative history” strip in which Abraham Lincoln sends tweets on Twitter,
including one about his upcoming evening at Ford’s Theatre. But there is a
distinctly odd bit of editing in this Lincoln strip, showing where modern
sensibilities regarding younger readers lie. One tweet here reads, in its
entirety, “Slaves free! #DoingBestICan.” But Lincoln’s Emancipation
Proclamation did not free all slaves, and the original Pearls Before Swine version of this strip had the correct information
in its tweet: “Slaves free! (if living in Confed.) Rest of you – not so much.
#DoingBestICan.” That is an accurate tweet (given the absurd underlying
premise) but apparently was considered too difficult, or controversial, or
politically incorrect for Suit Your
Selfie. Very odd. This misstep aside, though, the book is fun in the usual
offbeat and suitably strange Pearls
Before Swine manner.
Dav Pilkey’s Dog Man graphic novels are offbeat and
strange as well, and they too have quasi-literary aspirations. Or at least A Tale of Two Kitties does. Yes, this
book – ostensibly created by fifth-graders George Beard and Harold Hutchins –
starts with references to and echoes of Charles Dickens’ A Tale of Two Cities. And at the very end, after three separate
happy endings, the book concludes with some real-world seriousness about the
benefits of reading to your dog, complete with the hashtag #Readtoyourdogman.
In between the Dickens references and the hashtag, Pilkey weaves a story that
is tangled even by his standards: evil cat Petey clones himself but ends up
with a kitten; multiple buildings come to life and start yelling “Gooba Gaba”
after an explosion at the Living Spray Factory; the dastardly now-dead fish
Flippy (from the previous book, Dog Man
Unleashed) gets a bionic body and is reanimated to do more bad things;
there are several of the usual “flip-o-rama” sections, in which readers are
told to flip two pages back and forth quickly and repeatedly to simulate
animation (very primitive animation); and the little kitten, who loves Dog-Man,
ends up helping take care of the various baddies by using Petey’s invention,
the “80-Hexotron Droidformigon,” a “transforming supa-robot” that the kitten is
using in “Robo Suit mode.” There is a surprising amount of warmth in A Tale of Two Kitties – even Petey shows
that he has a softer side – and there is also some thoroughly unsurprising
mayhem, along with jokes and quotations from Dickens and, as usual, “how to
draw” instructions after the story ends. This time the “ridiculously easy” drawing
steps show how to re-create the kitten (now known as “Li’l Petey” but
identified as “Cat Kid” in the promo for the next book in the series), the
80-HD, and a “beasty building,” as well as Petey and Dog-Man. It is all in good
fun, and really is funny, and the touches of seriousness harm the humor not at
all – they actually enhance it, although calling the book in any sense
“educational” would be stretching things a bit too far.
The dogs are real, not
cartoon characters, in Sorry I Humped
Your Leg, but the “letters” they have “written” spring entirely from the
mind of Jeremy Greenberg. The idea of this small gift book is to show
endearingly adorable dogs of all types in poses that just might reflect their
feelings about situations described and discussed in the letters. An adorable
pup named Thatcher is shown splay-legged on an apparently slippery wooden
floor, so the letter here begins “Dear Foul Floorboards” and explains, “I hope
to grow old sleeping on your sunniest spots, but if this keeps up I’ll refuse
to have my claws clipped until they have no choice but to resurface you into
sawdust.” A dog named Truman is seen with extended tongue lapping up the juices
flowing from a cooked but still-uncarved turkey on a countertop cutting board,
and the letter to “Dear Thermometer-Popping Pack Leader” says, “Next year our
ears will ring with the sound of crunching exoskeletons as your survivalist
sister-in-law serves her traditional Thanksgiving feast of fried crickets and
tap water. I had to lick the cutting board, or next year the only thing we’d be
thankful for would be a travel-halting snowstorm.” Elsewhere, a dog called
Ozzy, newly arrived in a foster home, writes, “Since this is the first time
I’ve seen you get out of the shower, it’s probably good to break the news that
Ozzy barks at butts.” And then there is the “Dear Grandpa Pack Leader” letter
from Rusty: “Has anyone told you that you might just be the most interesting
human in the world? …I love watching you wake up wondering which room you’re
in. It means you’ll probably forget and feed me two breakfasts.” True, that
“maybe you’ll forget” sentence is ageist and a trifle cruel – Greenberg’s
fault, not Rusty’s – but the notion of a dog, any dog, considering a person,
any person, to be “the most interesting human in the world,” is a pretty solid insight
into the delights of dog ownership and the delightfulness of the antics and
activities of cartoon and real-world dogs alike.
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