March 07, 2019

(++++) KITTEN CABOODLE


Klawde: Evil Alien Warlord Cat No. 1. By Johnny Marciano and Emily Chenoweth. Illustrated by Robb Mommaerts. Penguin Workshop. $14.99.

Klawde: Evil Alien Warlord Cat No. 2—Enemies. By Johnny Marciano and Emily Chenoweth. Illustrated by Robb Mommaerts. Penguin Workshop. $14.99.

     One of the cleverest and silliest series of novels for middle-school readers in quite some time, Klawde: Evil Alien Warlord Cat evokes laughter even from its title. “Klawde” as in “clawed,” OK, but “evil alien warlord cat”? What can that be about? Turns out that it’s about Lord High Emperor Wyss-Kuzz (not pronounced “whiskers”), the Magnificent, from the planet Lyttyrboks (not pronounced “litter box”), a reigning feline so implacable, so cruel, so thoroughly evil that the cat court in charge of such things revives a long-abandoned practice of exile to a planet of “carnivorous ogres” far away across the universe. Wyss-Kuzz is to be sent to – Earth. Well, of course! And of course he is going to have some, err, adaptation to do.

     Enter Raj Banerjee, young human being. Raj and his parents have just moved from Brooklyn, New York, to the small town of Elba, Oregon, where his mom has gotten a new and better job. Now Raj has adaptation to do, and he is not liking it in the least: all the outdoors out in Oregon, the lack of nearby pizza places and comic-book stores, and the lack of nearby friends or, in fact, any friends at all. Obviously Wyss-Kuzz and Raj are made for each other. They just don’t know it yet.

     This would be a fairly ordinary fish-out-of-water story (well, characters-out-of-water, anyway) if Wyss-Kuzz – who soon gets the Earth name Klawde from Raj’s father – were not such a hilarious blend of traditional villainy and inescapable felinity. Of course, the cat comes from a highly advanced, spacefaring race with technology far beyond what mere humans possess, and is cast away on our poor benighted planet, where he has to figure out how to survive while staying focused on his primary driving force: revenge against the underling who has taken over his position as ruler, General FFangg (not pronounced “fang” – part of the amusement here comes from the distinctly Earthlike names the alien cats possess). The first book in the series is all about Klawde’s attempts to make himself appear harmless and Earth-cat-like so he can plot his return to his home planet and take over again. The book is also about Raj’s attempts to fit into his new community: his parents agree to let him keep Klawde only if Raj consents to going to an outdoor camp, which turns out to be run by the ultimate counselor-from-hell, who calls himself Turkey Vulture and is pretty clearly unhinged.

     Along the way, Klawde reveals who he really is to Raj, needing Raj’s help with various things on Earth, and Raj gladly keeps Klawde’s secret, and the two soon become best friends. But Klawde is still a cat, and an evil-ruler one, at that. At one point Klawde is about to enter the teleporter he has constructed for his return to Lyttyrboks when he is interrupted by “the long-furred ogre,” otherwise known as “the mother-Human.” He is about to scratch her when Klawde (who narrates alternating chapters, with Raj doing the others) says “she turned to me. ‘If you try it, I’ll skin you alive and turn you into a fur hat.’ Finally, a Human I could respect. I stood down.” That is Klawde all over – and the illustrations that Robb Mommaerts adds to the text by Johnny Marciano and Emily Chenoweth show this scene and many others (definitely including those involving Turkey Vulture) to perfection.

     Well, Klawde does not quite get back to his home planet at the end of the first book, and that sets things up for the second, in which travel between Lyttyrboks and Earth starts to become a lot more common. It turns out that General FFangg himself has now been betrayed and ousted – these are cats, remember, and loyalty is not their strong suit – by none other than Klawde’s “loyal minion, Flooffee-Fyr” (not pronounced however the heck it would be pronounced on Earth). Now General Ffangg has himself been exiled to Earth – just what Klawde did not need. And on the Raj side of things, a onetime friend, or really frenemy, has suddenly turned up in Elba, Oregon – just what Raj did not need. So in the second book as in the first, we have parallel and intersecting stories that are funny in themselves and downright hilarious in combination (Klawde is a cat, which means that when he gets really busy and involved in a project one day, he can only manage to take 17 naps). The second book is further complicated by Klawde’s determination to train new minions, or some sort of army, to help him retake Lyttyrboks; but of course the only available cats are Earth cats, who are thoroughly unsatisfactory for the purpose – except maybe for one female kitten who does have potential. The battle between Klawde and General Ffangg for control of the Earth cats leads to a series of very funny scenes, several of which involve distinctly feline traumas, including getting thoroughly soaked with water and losing tail fur. The constant reminders of just how catlike Klawde is, coupled with his always-scowling appearance and his obvious, if feckless, ruthlessness, make Klawde: Evil Alien Warlord Cat a truly wonderful series; and although Raj has far less personality than does Klawde, he makes a fine foil for the real star (or starcat) of the show. The books are fun because they are so adeptly written and paced, because they are so amusingly illustrated, and – well, just be-klaws.

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